When I cried at the gym

Lately I've been battling a serious mid-term case of the miserables. I've been sick for the last week, have two big assignments on my mind and so much to do before I head away on my overseas escapade. I can't wait but I feel like I can't think about it until everything else is done.

I decided to get back to the gym tonight and watched Offspring as I worked out. And then, there I was, crying and having an almost asthma attack as my stuffy nose and scratchy throat battled against my tears while I rode the exercise bike.

This makes me happy and sad all at once:

Light all my lights

Zac posted this lovely clip and I've become obsessed with it.


Enjoy

What it is like to live where you work

I posted a little while ago about the fact that I'm living in the boarding part of our school now.

For most people I know, this decision of mine has been met with various degrees of both cynicism and admiration, with one colleague remarking, "It is better you than me."

The role of a boarding supervisor is an interesting one. Overall, there are about 20 of us, across Years 8 to 12 with a mix of teaching staff, Old Boys and other staff. I am rostered on for about 12 hours a week and then, over the course of the Term, will also complete 4 full day shifts (8am-10:30pm).

The most obvious benefit of this arrangement is money. I'm not spending money on rent, fuel to travel to work or most food. I still buy the bread and snacks I like to eat but mostly, I eat in a dining room with the other supervisors every night. My sister said I was the happiest she'd seen me in a long time and we think that has a lot to do with the fact that finally I'm able to do some of the things I've wanted to do, like go overseas. The other benefit is that I get to build on my role at the school. This is the most wonderful job but sometimes just teaching can feel like it is the same thing, over and over. Being in boarding has given me something new to do, a new challenge, a way to test myself and my time.

I have a little ensuited room I call home. It is situated in the oldest building on our campus, a little bit away from the kids' dorms. I have plenty of space for my queen bed, a desk, chest of drawers and bookshelf. Plus there is a TV unit, sink and cupboard in the room. The little ensuite attached is big enough for a shelf, dirty clothes basket and has two cupboards built in. I have plenty of room for all the things I need. The downside of living in a 60+ year old building are that my roof leaked at the start of the year when it poured rain for days. Hot water is hard to get going and is currently not working in the little 'kitchen' sink I have. There are quite a few bugs about as well but plenty of geckos to eat them. I have a beautiful view in the morning and can often watch the sun rise from my windows.

Being a woman in a mostly male environment has its challenges but after working in a boys' school for the last 5 years, there is not much that I can't handle. I work with the Year 8s when I'm on shift. If it is a weekend shift it might involve playing sport for recreation, watching movies, supervising their study time, dealing with any fights or arguments or tears that may take place. We play ping pong and pool a lot and in Summer, spend an hour or so at the pool on the weekend.  I do the same things as the male supervisors on shift.

Lately, people have asked me, "How are you going with boarding?" with a very concerned look on their face. The truth is I enjoy it but it is hard at times. This week I've had to really consider where I'm spending my time as I need to get ahead with some of my Masters work and so I'm really testing my time management skills but even that is going okay. Sometimes, it is hard to be on your feet for 15 hours and trying to work out where someone's school diary is while simultaneously answering the phone, letting someone into a computer room and ticking off someone else's homework. But then, when it is done I walk one minute along the road to my little room, put the lights on, have a long shower and wake up for another day at the job that makes me feel like I'm at home.

In an hour.

My thoughts in the last hour:

• Why do these boys need so many notes for an exam when they had a week with the question?

• I really need to stop buying pretty, white SABA dresses and start thinking of all the crepes I will be able to buy in France.

• I need to book accommodation in Italy.

• Where will we actually go in Italy?

• How can I get from Paris to Verona? Surely there is someone's itinerary out there I could steal.

• As my students sit quietly writing their exams, I think: I am so, so proud of them for all their hard work and for their concentration. Young people are so good and funny and clever.

• Am I chewing my gum too loudly?

• Oh thank goodness it is the holidays in two days.

• I want to spend the two weeks of holidays reading, swimming, finding it too cold to go swimming and eating my weight in Cadbury.

• I really want to eat that kid's Dairy Milk chocolate. 

I walked around the room and past the student's desk. He gave me the chocolate. Legend. 

Pip & John: A love story

Last year John Bean, Paul Lockyer & Gary Ticehurst were killed when the ABC helicopter crashed near Lake Eyre last August. Trent Dalton, my favourite Queensland journalist, spoke to John's widow, Pip, and wrote this in this week's QWeekend. It broke my heart & I spent a good hour or so reeling. It is too good not to share:

I love you. I love you so much that tonight I don't want to go out. I just want to stay in with some Thai food and a bottle of bubbles and watch trashy science fiction on our couch. Tonight, i don't want to share you with anyone else. I love you so much that on my day off I will drive nine hours to spend a night with you in Walgett, in nonrth-west NSW. I'll consider every last word that falls from your lips. I will call you every night. I will turn off my bedside light and in the darkness tell you how much I appreciate you being my wife; how you make a weekend spent going to the dump feel like the perfect weekend. I will feed your addiction to crockery. I will lug fragile and cubersome crockery sets across the globe for you. I will track down a cover image from your favourite magazine, The New Yorker, and I will frame it and the image will feature a cat overlooking New York City because I know you adore cats as much as you adore the city of New York. I will bore my friends and colleagues with stories about you. When you travel I will send love faxes to your hotel every morning. I will buy you every last cookbook you take the vaguest interest in and I will write in every one. I will send you flowers for no reason. I will send you so many flowers that the guard at the gates of the ABC will winder how many birthdays you Tasmanian girls celebrate. I will leave letters on the pillow for you when I go away. When we're lucky enough to work together I will reach my hand behind the passenger seat so the sound guy can't see and we will quietly hold hands on the long drive home in the darkness. We'll buy a house in the suburbs. We'll buy an extra large dining table so people will know they can always bring a friend, so people will know ours is a home filled with laughter and joy and discussion and love. I will buy you an old shack on Hawley Beach, Tasmania, and we will retire there and we will hold hands and talk about news and current affairs and friends and family as we walk 100m to the beach of your dreams. And you will redefine my meaning of happiness.

My hope is that we all get to love like that.

Where I'm at.

Since the beginning of the school year I have been living, and working, in my school's boarding school.

This had been in the works since mid-last year when I took a trip with The Boss, our Head of Boarding and their families to St George, Morree, Dalby and Milmerran. It was a wonderful trip to the country.

So, after a few hiccups it was finally decided that I'd be a part of the boarding community from this week.

I work with Year 6, 7 and 8s in the dorm two days a week plus two Saturdays and two Sundays each term. So far, it has been entirely manageable and utterly rewarding.

To teach kids is one thing, to help them manage their relationships, belongings, school life, sport and emotions, is a whole 'nother kettle of fish...and I love it! The dorm can get pretty hectic, particularly on a Saturday when everyone's off at sport but I work with the best people and have felt so much support since I began.

For some people, the thought of living and working at the same place is a totally foreign concept. But, I've said for a long time that I felt like I was at home when I started working here so maybe it was all just meant to be.

Lately

Reading: The Help, Caitlyn Moran's How to be A Woman, uni readings.

Writing: a flurry of blog posts, a letter I won't send, two assignments.

Making:...nothing. All I make now is toast, I'm lucky to have my food all made for me at the moment.

Drinking: Water, ginger beer and Berocca. Warding off hangovers and mid-term 'run down'.

Listening: to more Busby Marou, Adele (again), to Galahs outside.

Playing: With instagram fairly often.

Enjoying: Caramel popcorn, catching up with friends, Friday Night Lights, watching a friend gain some serious career momentum.

Loving: sound sleep, my new Cloud 9 hair straightener, getting back into exercise.

Planning: our European getaway! Only 3 and a bit more months! Mental. We've still got lots to book but it is getting very exciting!

Teaching: about documentaries and The Crucible. I'm really enjoying my Senior classes at the moment, they bring some peace to my days.